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Hai Folks!!!    I consider myself as a cool, buoyant, vibrant, affable guy with a virulent craze on Programming/Technology. My hobbies comprise of listening music, reading, travelling, watching movies......... I had made a frantic effort to include many of my favourite Web sites, music, video's etc on this page. If you find these sites very interesting/would like to have a friendship feel free to   contact   me, so that we can share our ideas.
MUSIC

Click on this man to hear some of my
favourite songs/Videos/Comedy

Enter the dream world of music/video/Fantasy
Download a funny
 conversation
of Saddam Hussain

Software Links

MSDN JAVA ASPToday.com
Javascript AspHole.com Swynk.com
Aspsite.com 15Seconds.com Activeserverpages.com

News Papers & Magazines

English Dailies Malayalam Dailies Magazines
Indian Express Malayala Manorama Filmfare
The Hindu Kerala Kaumudi Readers Digest
Mathrubhumi Screen Bollywood Online

Music Channels


Cool Jokes

Tips To Impress Your Boss

  • Never walk without a document in your hands People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.
  • Use computers to look busy Any time you use a computer, it looks like "work" to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you *will* get caught -- your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.
  • Messy desk Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.
  • Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there - it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel.
  • According to George Costanza, one should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.
  • Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss' room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours (e.g. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays.
  • Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.
  • It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the best).
  • Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.
  • Most Important Don't forward this to your boss by mistake!!!
  • S/W Engineer Wife

    JUST HAVE A LOOK AT THIS CONVERSATION AND THEN DESIDE YOURSELF.
    HUSBAND - HAI DEAR,I AM LOGGED IN.
    WIFE - WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SOME SNACKS
    HUSBAND - HARD DISK FULL.
    WIFE - HAVE YOU BROUGHT THE SAREE.
    HUSBAND - BAD COMMAND OR FILE NAME.
    WIFE - BUT I TOLD YOU ABOUT IT IN MORNING
    HUSBAND - ERRONEOUS SYNTAX, ABORT,RETRY,CANCEL.
    WIFE - HAE BHAGWAN !FORGET IT WHERE'S YOUR SALARY.
    HUSBAND - FILE IN USE,READ ONLY,TRY AFTER SOME TIME.
    WIFE - ATLEAST GIVE ME YOUR CREDIT CARD, I CAN DO SOME SHOPPING.
    HUSBAND - SHARING VIOLATION,ACCESS DENIED.
    WIFE - I MADE A MISTAKE IN MARRYING YOU.
    HUSBAND - DATA TYPE MISMATCH.
    WIFE - YOU ARE USELESS.
    HUSBAND - BY DEFAULT.
    WIFE - WHO WAS THERE WITH YOU IN THE CAR THIS MORNING?
    HUSBAND - SYSTEM UNSTABLE PRESS CTRL, ALT, DEL TO REBOOT.
    WIFE - WHAT IS THE RELATION BETWEEN YOU & YOUR RECEPTIONIST?
    HUSBAND - THE ONLY USER WITH WRITE PERMISSION.
    WIFE - WHAT IS MY VALUE IN YOUR LIFE?
    HUSBAND - UNKNOWN VIRUS DETECTED.
    WIFE - DO YOU LOVE ME OR YOUR COMPUTER?
    HUSBAND - TOO MANY PARAMETERS.
    WIFE - I WILL GO TO MY DADS HOUSE.
    HUSBAND - PROGRAM PERFORMED ILLEGAL OPERATION,It WILL CLOSE.
    WIFE - I WILL LEAVE YOU FOR EVER.
    HUSBAND - CLOSE ALL PROGRAMS & LOG OUT FOR ANOTHER USER.
    WIFE - It IS WORTHLESS TALKING TO YOU.
    HUSBAND - SHUT DOWN THE COMPUTER.
    WIFE - I AM GOING
    HUSBAND - ITS NOW SAFE TO TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER.

    Infosys, TCS and Wipro

                                          One day, three consultants, one from Wipro, one from Infosys and one from TCS, went together for a walk. They were old buddies from b- school, and they were joining together to remember the tough old days they went as students together. For no apparent reasons, they went into this zoo an passed an elephant.Having worked in the same field and from the same school, of course there is a little bit of peer competition going on between themselves, so when he saw this elephant, an idea clicked the Infosys guy, he said to the others ' Why don't we prove who are the best among ourselves?'. The other two, of course, agreed. Then the Infosyan said 'Let's make a test. Whoever can make this elephant to laugh, he works for the best firm'. After they all agreed, they started. Being a pure logical strategist, the Infosyan tried to make the elephant laugh by telling jokes. Of course it stayed still... As a more practical consultant, the Wipro guy tried to make funny gestures... and the elephant still stayed still.... Now, comes the TCS guy.. Being the practical guy he was always told to be, he whispered something to the elephant, and it laughed at him while pointing its fingers to him... The other two were astonished. How come this TCS guy be able to beat them? So the Wipro guy said 'OK, let's make another test. Let's make this elephant cry !!'. So there they went again, practicing the same method as before. The Infosys guy told sad sad stories, the Wipro guy made sad gestures, and they fail again...... Then, the TCS guy whispered something again to the elephant's ear and it just cried, weeping.....and patting the TCS guy's shoulder. This cannot be, thought the other two. So the Infosyan said 'OK, you've won twice. If you can win this test, we will bow to you. Let's make this elephant run'. He went and bark to the elephant orders to run.Of course, it stayed still .... The Wipro guy pushes the elephant and stab it with stake to make it run, it stayed still. So...our TCS guy come to it and whispered something again to it's ear and the elephant run and run as fast as it could, as if it was scared to death. The other two surrendered. They say 'OK, you're the best pal. You work for a very good firm, tell us your secret'. 'Well' said the TCS guy, 'the first time I made it laugh, I said I work for TCS'. ' When I made it cry as if it were very sad and patted me, I told the elephant how much I get paid'. ' And when I made it run scared to death, I said to it, Why don't you join TCS?'

    Microsoft, Intel and Sun

                                          Three male programmers were in the bathroom standing at the urinals.The first programmer finishes and walks over to the sink to wash his hands.He then proceeds to dry his hands very carefully.He uses paper towel after paper towel and ensures that every single spot of water on his hands is dried. Turning to the other two, he says,'At Microsoft,we are trained to be extremely thorough.' The second programmer finishes his task at the urinal and he proceeds to wash his hands. He uses a single paper towel and makes sure that he dries his hands using every available portion of the paper towel.He turns and says, 'At Intel not only are we trained to be extremely thorough but we are also trained to be extremely efficient.' The third programmer finished and walks straight for the door, shouting over his shoulder: 'At Sun, we don't piss on our hands.'

    Real Life Messages From ORACLE

    Q. What if your Dad loses his car keys?
    A. 'Parent keys not found!'
    Q. What if your old girl friend spots you with your new one?
    A. 'Duplicate value on index!'
    Q. What if the golf ball doesn't get into the hole at all?
    A. 'Value larger than specified precision!'
    Q. What if you try to have fun with somebody else's girlfriend and get kicked out?
    A. 'Insufficient privileges on the specified object!'
    Q. What if you don't get any response from the girl next door?
    A. 'No data found!' or ' Query caused no rows retrieved!'
    Q. What if you get response from the girl next door and her Mom too?
    A. 'SELECT INTO returns too many rows!'
    Q. What if you dial a wrong number?
    A. 'Invalid number' or ' Object doesn't exist!'
    Q. What if you try to beat your own trumpet?
    A. 'Object is found mutating!'
    Q. What if you are too late to office and the boss catches you?
    A. 'Discrete transaction failed!'
    Q. What if you see 'theatre full' when you go to a movie?
    A. 'Maximum number of users exceeded!'
    Q. What if you don't get table in the lunch room?
    A. 'System out of tablespace!'

    Hotel Bill

     A husband and wife are traveling by car from Key West
     to Boston. After almost twenty-four hours on the road,
     they're too tired to continue, and they decide to stop
     for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room,
     but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get
     back on the road. When they check out four hours later,
     the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350.
     
     The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is
     so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel,
     the rooms certainly aren't worth $350. When the clerk
     tells him $350 is the standard rate, the man insists on
     speaking to the manager.
     
     The manager appears, listens to the man, and then
     explains that the hotel has an Olympic sized pool and a
     huge conference center that were available for the
     husband and wife to use.
     
     "But we didn't use them." the man complains. "Well,
     they are here, and you could have." explains the
     manager.
     
     He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of
     the shows for which the hotel is famous. "The best
     entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas
     perform here." the manager says. "But we didn't go to
     any of those shows." complains the man again.
     
     "Well, we have them, and you could have." the manager
     replies. No matter what facility the manager mentions,
     the man replies, "But we didn't use it!"
     
     The manager is unmoved, and eventually the man gives up
     and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to
     the manager. The manger is surprised when he looks at
     the check. "But sir," he says, "this check is only made
     out for $100."
     
     "That's right," says the man. "I charged you $250 for
     sleeping with my wife."
     
     "But I didn't!" exclaims the manger.
     
     "Well," the man replies, "she was here, and you could
     have."

    Great Thoughts

    I was born intelligent - education ruined me.

    A bus station is where a bus stops.
    A train station is where train stops.
    On my desk, I have a work station....
    what more can I say..........


    If it's true that we are here to help others,
    then, what exactly are the others here for?

    Since light travels faster than sound,
    people appear bright until you hear them speak.

    How come "abbreviated" is such a long word ?


    Money is not everything. There's MasterCard & Visa.

    One should love animals. They are so tasty.

    Love the neighbour. But don't get caught.

    Behind every successful man, there is a woman.
    And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.

    Every man should marry.
    After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.

    The wise never marry.
    and when they marry they become otherwise.

    Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.

    "Your future depends on your dreams"
    So go to sleep

    There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning

    "Hard work never killed anybody"
    But why take the risk

    "Work fascinates me"
    I can look at it for hours

    God made relatives;
    Thank God we can choose our friends.

    The more you learn, the more you know,
    The more you know, the more you forget
    The more you forget, the less you know
    So, Why learn.

    If your father is a poor man, it is your fate
    but if your father-in-law is a poor man, it's your stupidity !!!